I had ten kids in Sunday school today--well, eleven actually, although I called a parent to come get an uncooperative child. When I started teaching Sunday school, I always felt like I had somehow failed if I had to call the parent. Now I don't. I can spend the hour dealing with Naughty Joe and neglect the Other Ten, or I can let NJ's parents deal with the child they brought into the world (and who is thus primarily their responsibility) and focus on the ten who are willing to participate and learn. So I only felt the slightest pang of guilt as I keyed in his number on the paging system. I haven't done that in ... probably a year and a half? But I'm glad I could do so today, even if I would have preferred not to have to.
I also startled a new parent today, I think. I was dealing with Hannah, resident drama queen. She is a beautiful child, petite and blond and very graceful. But, oh my! Can she ever work people with her tears! I just don't fall for it anymore. (I've had her for going on three years now, and she does this nearly every week, so it doesn't take all that much insight to catch a clue after awhile.) Well, she had thrown herself on the floor and was sobbing about something that was "unfair." I told her, very calmly, that she had two choices: she could stop crying and get in line for the game we were about to play, or she could go cry over on the mat out of the way. I looked up to see this new mom looking at me like she wasn't quite sure she wanted to leave HER daughter with this heartless woman! I had to explain the situation to her, just a bit. I hope she believed me!
But you know, after the time I've spent in the public school system both as a TA and as a volunteer, I really think that this is part of the reason why the quality of public education is so poor. The teachers have to spend SO much time trying to drag along those who don't want to put in the effort to succeed that those who DO want to learn are jipped. Of course I believe that everyone should have a chance at education, and I do identify with teachers who want to do everything in their power to help each and every child succeed, if at all possible. I'm all for that. I, too, put in a LOT of time on individuals who were hanging on by a thread and would have fallen through the cracks without someone to hold their hand--or even carry them for awhile. But when kids consistently refuse to cooperate or when they milk the system to their own advantage, I think teachers should be able to say, "Come along, or don't. But I'm not sacrificing the education of these other 20 (or 25 or 30) kids because I'm too busy dragging YOU along by your earlobes."
Is that heartless? Maybe it is. But ... my Sunday school kids love my class. I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying it because I truly believe that kids respect boundaries, that they tend to live up to the expectations that are put in front of them--if they are convinced that the person making the expectations genuinely cares about them. And if they are not allowed to get away with a bunch of nonsense, then that class is going to be a safer and ultimately more enjoyable place for all.
I just hope that new mom finds her way back next week ...
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