Bearers of Hope

We were in the hospital again last night -- "just" pain this time. They have a new computer system that everyone was trying to get used to, and Dr. Jung was being very thorough in his review of Mark's recent history. Dear Dr. Jung ... I can tell that while most of the doctors see themselves (in Mark's case) as airline stewards, passing out the peanuts while we try to stay above the clouds and wait for the inevitable crash, he still thinks maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to find a way to land this craft safely. He thinks and thinks and scratches his head and calls other doctors and finally ends up by throwing up his hand. "I'm sorry," he says. "I don't know what to do for you." Yeah, well ... neither does anybody else, so he's in good company. But the next time we're his patient, he tries again ...

Mark was frustrated last night. He just wanted medication and relief from the pain, not a thorough review of his case. He also, quite understandably, wanted relief ASAP. The doc opted to give him meds under his tongue, which take far longer to work. They're trying to avoid putting in an IV whenever possible. Mark's veins are scarred and have started to collapse. But last night Mark didn't care. While he moaned and cried, I got to translate the intentions of the medical staff for him. "I know you're frustrated. I know you want pain relief right now, but they're looking at the big picture, honey. They're doing this because they care about you." And he agreed -- but it didn't make the pain any easier to bear!

Adam, his nurse, has set up a conference call for Thursday at 1:00. He's inviting us and as many of Mark's health care providers as can participate to join him in coming up with a clear and consistent plan of care for Mark. Adam is truly fabulous. Thirty years old, taller even than Mark, with upper arms nearly the size of coffee cans, he has a deep but "ungushy" compassion for people and a sense of humor that can brighten even the darkest days. When no one else can make Mark laugh, Adam can. And when Mark loses his ability to believe that he can do this, that he can carry on, Adam somehow knows how to help him believe in himself again. The world needs more nurses like him. Heck! The world just basically needs more people like him, in general. Sadly, they're in rather short supply. But we're one of the lucky one who get to be cared for by this unpretentious and genuinely caring man.