A Memorable Night

Last night definitely goes down in the Horrible Nights Hall of Fame. I called over to the hospital about 10:00. I was about to go to bed, since Jason had said he would go pick up Mark, but I just had a feeling something wasn't right. So I called. Sure enough, Mark was having a rough time. Since the boys were asleep, I decided to leave them with Kaitlyn and go in and be with Mark. Come to find out, they wouldn't give him any narcotics or the kind of anti-nausea that actually works for him, because they are concerned about addiction. Well, he got one dose from the day shift doctor, but then, within a half hour of coming in, the night shift doctor came on and refused to give him anything that actually works for him. I know he means to be working in Mark's best interest. Tough love, that kind of stuff. But ... hello?? They have informed us during the last couple of weeks that there is really no surgery that they are willing to risk and that we need to start to wrapping our minds around the inevitability of The End. But Mark can't have narcotics because ... he might get addicted? Um ... maybe I'm missing something, but ... why the heck does that matter if you're dying? Dr. J said, "Well, his personality has changed since I first knew him. He used to be so vibrant and bouncy, and he's not anymore." Yeah, well, if you lived with severe chronic pain for years with no hope of relief this side of Eternity, it just might change your personality, too, Doc!

Finally, about 12:30, when the therapist from the pain center had failed to respond to five calls, the doctor "compromised." He gave Mark the anti-nausea medication that works, but in pill form, so that the affect would be less dramatic. And he gave him a prescription for Dilaudid. I looked at Adam and said, "A prescription? So ... we can't get anything at all until morning then ..." Mark and I were so depressed. We were just stunned into silence. Mark had been up nearly all of the night before with this pain and had been battling it at home ALL DAY before giving in, finally, in the evening, only to sit in the ER for SIX HOURS and then be handed ... a prescription??? Adam, who had already told him that his hand were tied, went out without a word and came back a few minutes later with a small dose of IV narcotics. I don't know what he said to Dr. J to get that dose, but I could have bowed down and kissed his feet. It wasn't only enough to take the edge off, but ... it was definitely better than nothing.