Saturday, March 10, 2007

Just Checking In

I hope you'll pardon my brief absence. I set a goal for myself this week: sort through all my poetry and send out all that was anywhere near ready. That seems simple, right? Jot down a few words to the editor, print out the poem, fold, insert in envelope, write address, apply stamp, and mail ... Not so fast there, Bucko! It's a lot more complicated than that. Well, it could be that easy. A lot of people manage their submissions this way. But then, a lot of people never get published, either! Targeted submissions (i.e. work sent to a particular publication because you feel that your work would actually fit in there) stand a much better chance of success. But market research, I'm discovering, is hugely time consuming. I'm banking on the fact that once I learn about these journals, the information will be "inputted" in my brain, and I won't need to start from scratch each time. I'm certain (?) that someday I'll be able to look at a piece of mine and say, "Oh, this would fit at Journal of the Small Town Loonies -- or some such market. But this week I was just starting to dig down through the rocky surface of the literary field. And of course, once I pulled up a poem for consideration, I often had to tighten it here and change it there ... And then, of course, I had to pop over to my Poets and Writers forum a few times to find out if a particular title should be italicized or set off in quotes and whether a limit of "32 lines" includes the blank spaces between stanzas ... And so it goes. All that to say, this is why you haven't seen my for a few days. I was determined to get through my file of poems that were ready (or nearly ready) to go out. I did. I now have 27 poems in circulation (and another batch that I set aside to revise further). It feels good. Really good. Oh, I know the odds. I know that if I get even one of these poems accepted, I'll be doing great. I expect the rejection letters. This field is hugely competitive, and most markets are swamped with submissions. It just feels good to be in the game.

As far as the rest of the family goes, it's been a pretty uneventful week. That's all relative, of course. Mark did wake me up at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday. "I need you!" I don't do well with those sudden awakenings out of deep sleep. You'd think after having three kids, I would be used to it, but then ... my kids always slept with me precisely because I have such a hard time getting up in the night. Anyhow, I digress. In the wee hours of Thursday morning, I went upstairs and found Mark bleeding quite profusely from his nose. It had been going on for fifteen minutes. "I need to get help," he said. This was a reasonable request, considering that he is on blood thinners and could bleed out. But for some reason I got really squeamish all of the sudden. I managed to look up "nosebleeds" in my Ask a Nurse book. And I got him ice to put on his nose, but then I had to lay down flat on the floor. I felt like I was going to either vomit or pass out. (Or perhaps both, in rapid succession.) I couldn't imagine calling an ambulance for a nosebleed, but I also couldn't imagine driving when I felt so lightheaded. Thankfully, in five more minutes, as I was trying to pull myself together to get behind the wheel, the bleeding stopped.

He had a couple of decent days -- just rather tired (from the blood loss, I think). Yesterday, however, the pain kicked in again. I took him to the hospital, came home, and left again to pick up the girls at the dance. Kaitlyn brought three girls home with her, and they heated up leftover Chinese food and crashed in the living room to watch Monster House with the boys. I was sitting in front of the computer, just waiting for the movie to be over so that I could lie down and sleep. I was nearly shaking from exhaustion. Then I got a phone call. I thought Jason would pick up Mark, but he wasn't due off work until the wee hours of the morning. Mark was done and ready to come home about 10:00. I told Jason I was going to go get Mark as soon as I got the boys to sleep. (Brendan was wigging out, big time.) He could tell from my voice that I was thrashed. I was having a hard time staying awake, even then. He got angry.
"WHY would you get behind the wheel of a car if you are so tired?"
"Because somebody has to go get him."
"Well, let somebody else go. Have you called anyone?" I'm sorry, folk. I know I need to accept help, and I'm trying, but if someone hasn't volunteered for this kind of stuff, I'm not going to go calling around at 10:00 at night to ask other people to drop everything and go pick up my husband for me. I just can't do that. "Well, would you drive if you'd had three drinks?"
"I wouldn't have three drinks."
He didn't find me humorous. "I will pick him up," he said. "I'll be awhile, but he will be fine waiting at the ER. You must not go out there like this tonight. You have children, and they need you not to wrap yourself around a tree."
I guess that's what I get for being related to a paramedic! But I knew he was right. I had literally had to slap my face on the way TO the hospital. I was that tired. I truly wasn't sure I could make it there and back without sliding off the road. But can you imagine how horrible I felt when I had to tell Mark that he would have to wait an extra couple of hours? I felt absolutely horrible! But then I laid down and the next thing I knew, Mark was rattling around in the kitchen. Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, he would have been quite peeved with me, but last night ... he wasn't. He was kind and understanding, and I found myself wondering yet again if the aliens took away my spouse and left a clone in his place! Well, if they did, all I can say is, "Thank you, great Alien Overlords!" :)

And now, I must be off. Katie sent me money to get a massage. An hour and 15 minutes from now, I'll be stretched out under the skilled hands of a masseuse. And then ... the library book sale! If I go straight from Urban Bliss to the library, I should get there in time for their wrap up, when the books that are left go for $3 for as many as you can fit in a large paper bag. Believe me, I can fit in quite a few! And the good thing is that the books that I want are considered "boring" by many people so chances are good that they will still be there when I arrive. Here's hoping ...!

2 comments:

Mark B. said...

I for one welcome our Alien Overlods!!!!

Mark B. said...

The Wait in the ER was fine. Dr. Van EAton and I talked for a while. We talked about kids, protecting our daughters from boys and the Internet, and guy stuff. Adam and I chatted most of the night we watched the last 45 minutes of Rocky 4 together. and we watched some guy humor items on the Internet. So all in all having to stay Late was not bad at all. And no IV and no pain meds that night.